Day and Night...

Last night I did two significant things:
1. I finished reading "The Sagan Diary"
2. I fell asleep watching "50 First Dates"


Today was pretty awesome. I got to help Katie Lamb (Touch of Hope) and her business, to move to their new location which is quite close to where I have my studio at Mount Olympus. I liked that I could be of service. I really enjoyed being able to heft things and play "tetris" while attempting to make everything fit in the U-Haul.


Their new facility is so beautiful! It has an out pouring of non-judgmental unconditional love. It felt so good!!! I told one of the practitioners there - who is also one of the previous students from International Institute of Massage Therapy, where I substitute, that I was going to come and hang out at their place! It is definitely where magic will be happening!


I later got to work with one of the current massage students going over muscles; their origins, insertions, and actions. It was fun, but it was also a little long. We were reviewing for just about 3 hours straight! But don't fret - I made it fun. I even did silly little things to help him remember other muscles and what he needed to know for his final next week.


Ah, but let me get back to last night... and part of this morning too. I'll start with "50 First Dates". Well, beside the fact that I love this movie as well... my Darling loves it too. (By the way - I love the soundtrack.) AND, although I fell sleep with the movie eventually watching ME, I woke up this morning and finished watching it and kept replaying the credit portion of the movie so I can listen to the amazing music. One of my favorite songs (version of the songs) on there is: "Every Breathe You Take". *sigh* Love love


Oh, and "The Sagan Diary". Wow - I liked that I could relate to this little read, both militarily and also emotionally. If I were to quote some of my favorite lines... I might as well post and quote the entire read. However, if I HAD TO narrow it down, the ones that are "PG" to write (lol) would be:


- "Let me speak your name"
- "Words fail me"
- "I must apologize to you. I am sitting with you and you are talking to me, telling me about the world to which we are going, where you and I will start our lives together. I'm sure what you're saying is important-critical things I need to know, about a place I have never been but where I will spend the rest of my days. I am sure you are telling me things I need to hear, but I must confess I'm not hearing a single word."
- "This is what I fear. And I confess that part of me hates you a little for it, hates that you have taken my life and so threaded it with yours that I can't pull away without losing myself; I who had always been whole in myself but who now knows what she stands to lose in losing you... I fear a life without you and you without me.... I choose not to share this fear with you. You do not deserve to have it put on you... I feel ashamed I have this fear, based on nothing real, called into existence by my own irrationality."- "There are things you still have to learn about me and this is one of them. It is not that you are too considerate but that I don't mind when you tell me what you want and put that first instead of last."
" I smile and I want to kiss you, but not here and not now. I do not want a last kiss in an old body and in an old life. I want a first kiss in a new life, a promise fulfilled and no regrets. I am looking forward to that kiss. I hold it in my thoughts as I hold myself there and you there with me."


It's interesting that sometimes when I read the words of this author - his writing style and words that rise and fall with emotions, clarity and thought, I sometimes think of my own writings. Especially the ones I express more of the heart, or even in my own journals not written on here. I smile because I can relate to many of the words in that story, I blush because of similar unexpressed emotions too tender to place for the readers on here, I reminisce because many of these thoughts have also been my own.


Where words fail I hope my actions have compensated, and I hope my hands, arms and heart are still enough... for now.


There is no negotiating with Fear. I see it for what it is, for it's purpose. I allow it to show itself, acknowledge it, and make my own informed decisions.


Much love and light...
XOXOXOXO