Today started early with going to the gym. I was supposed to meet one of the guys from my unit who works at my gym to get me started on a program for my goals for the next six months, but he never showed. Duche... but I worked out on my own and my bottom hurt! I can't believe I haven't really worked out hard in such a long time. I hope I never let myself go that long again.
Anyway, moving right along.
Children.
Babysitting.
An eye opener.
I was introduced to 3 cute children ages 7, 6 and 4.... although cute, they were definitely teenagers stuck in young bodies! Man alive, I kept asking myself if I was really ready to be a mother and what was I thinking that I could handle or even have children etc.... Of course, all the negative self talk started kicking in.
However, as the day progressed and I got back into the rhythm of being around children, the mommy voice, etc all came back. It was nice being around children again... even though they do have a TON of energy. I don't know how I did it!
I am thankful though because it brought up a bunch of concerns I had about being a mother... whether being a stay at home mom is the best for me, should I be around family to help raise the babies, what if I am by myself and no significant other around, if I was with someone who already had children - would they even like me? how do I be a co-parent and friend without the children feeling like I was taking their mother's place? Am I ready to be a mother at all? Would I loose who I am after having children?
Blah, blah, blah.... as you can see... just a few thoughts that came up.
But you know what? I got asked to cover the rest of the week for the other babysitter that just flaked on my friend. To be honest, I'm actually looking forward to hanging out with the children these next few days! I'll get to know myself again and discover my strengths and weaknesses as a parental/adult influence. Then, if any issues come up, at least they'll be identified and I'll be able to work on them.
Tonight I went to my storage unit and got some plastic throw balls I used for military PT with my platoon, and tomorrow we'll be painting them... throwing them... having water/ball fights with them... maybe even some kick ball. I don't know. I'm also thinking of doing some small educational crafts to get them back in the mood/mind-set for school since they start school next Monday.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll have a hilarious update for everyone tomorrow or the next day
Love and light!
XOXOXOXO
Here's to getting back to the inner child! Puddles here we come!
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