Heart and Soul - and a slap in the face...

So, most of you know (or at least those who still read this) that I am a Massage Therapist. I love my job and what I do. I love being able to bring relief, comfort and joy to other's lives through the healing touch. For me, Massage Therapy is what saved my life after being overseas. It's helped me with my transition and how to connect with people again.

So, I've been pouring my heart and soul into my work and doing my best to make ends meet. I work my butt off to cover other therapist's shifts, pull 12 hour double days when needed, come in on my days off, take over for others when an emergency is needed. It's because I LOVE what I do. However, I need to feel that there's an equal exchange of energy for the value of my skills and time.

Well, I received my pay check today from doing 35.5 massage hours in two weeks. Sounds like a lot, huh? You'd think that would be a pretty penny, right? Wrong. I felt like I got slapped in my face with such a low paying paycheck making less than a quarter of what the National average is for someone in my field, per hour.

I walked out of work and needed a place to calm down. I was disgruntled. I found myself going to Vianna's Nature's Path instead of heading somewhere for a drink. I had a friend make me a drink, and found that I was getting rather emotional and didn't know exactly how I felt about that. Tears started flowing and I turned away so others couldn't see me cry. I was given a hug by my friend Taylor, and the hurt just started to overwhelm me - I found that I started holding on tighter. Not like me. I let go, and had to get back to work. (I was thankful for the hug.)

In the break room, before taking my next client, I started to cry again. This time, I was holding my mouth to try not to weep. I don't know why I was so emotional, but I know that if I value what I do, I can't allow myself to keep having this inner struggle about my personal ethics and what I am going to allow others to dictate regarding my professional value.

Thus, this coming month, July... is going to be MY month. A transformation month, with a new job in site, a month of gratitude, a month of personal wellness and clarity. A month to move ahead and stop keeping myself back. I'm taking back July, and it'll be fantastic. I'm first starting with my attitude... and I "choose" not to be a victim of my circumstances. I am going to change it! And, it's going to start with me.

My Battle Buddy...

Two days ago I got an e-mail from my battle buddy who is serving overseas. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear from him and to know that he is alive and well.

Every day, since the last December, I always look at his unit patch that he gave me and ask God and our guardian angels/Spirit guides - to watch over him and keep him safe. There's not a day that goes by that he hasn't been on my mind.

For me, I was reminded when I was overseas and how he was home with his family - living life. Now, the roles have reversed and he is fulfilling his duties, and I am here... Thinking. Wondering. Hoping. Praying. Missing him. Our bond is special- we went to Basic and AIT together. We've been with each other through the crappy and good times, and not to mention, during the stinky, sweaty, and horribly looking times as well. (There's NOTHING cute about female "BCG"s.) Now, we've both supported each other through our respective deployments. To me- he is an inspiration, a loving father, a dedicated and motived Soldier, a hard worker, and a wonderful man.

He is my Battle; and Battle Buddies are forever.

Orando, con todo mi corazón.

Christmas 2011 - Fond memory

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Well, I guess we could have Christmas in June! ha ha ha

May I say - what a difference a year and a half has made.

In 2011, I was overseas in Iraq serving my God and my Country - hopefully for the benefit and upliftment of others who were oppressed by the selfishness of foolish men. I have had some time to reflect, yesterday and today, of some of the things that I was doing last year. One of my fond moments was playing "Santa in Iraq".

On Christmas Eve, when I finished working, I got all of the candy out of our headquarters, took it back to my CHU to separate and organize it. I counted out the candy etc, then proceeded with a huge bag of candy and tape then went to every CHU within our unit's area and put candy on all of the doors. It was about 0330 by the time I got back to my room.

In the morning, I could hear SGT D. Hall asking people if they knew who put candy on their door - no one knew. I walked outside nonchalantly and SGT Hall came up to me, put his arms on my shoulders while asking me if I put candy on his door. (Of course I said no...) He then proceeded to tell me that he was Skyping with his children and they asked him if Santa left him any presents in Iraq. "No. Santa didn't find me over here." When he walked out his door and saw a bunch of Christmas candy taped to his door, he called his children back and told them that "Santa found me! He left me candy all over my door!"

To me, that was quite the highlight of my Christmas in Iraq. To be honest... I miss being there. The work, the purpose, the mission.