Awake

Thought of the early morning....

The sound of the rain hitting my window pane and the lulling hush of the roadway slow with vehicles outside soothes my mind as i lay here I'm wide eyed and thinking of you. The smell of incense linger in the room as the last burning ember of it released an aromatic scent to cleanse the night and invite harmony during my slumber. I have meditation music softly in the background and the only other sounds of the silence are the ticking of the second hand on the clock, the automatic rhythm of my  breath, and the tapping of my fingers on my smart phone as I write this.

.... tap, tap, tap..... another word is spelled..... tap, tap, tap... another sentence is formed.... inhale... hushing lullaby of rain and rolling vehicles..... The fragrant incense. .... melodic and calming music plays..... and I'm still wide awake and thinking of you.

XOXOXOXO

Day and Night...

Last night I did two significant things:
1. I finished reading "The Sagan Diary"
2. I fell asleep watching "50 First Dates"


Today was pretty awesome. I got to help Katie Lamb (Touch of Hope) and her business, to move to their new location which is quite close to where I have my studio at Mount Olympus. I liked that I could be of service. I really enjoyed being able to heft things and play "tetris" while attempting to make everything fit in the U-Haul.


Their new facility is so beautiful! It has an out pouring of non-judgmental unconditional love. It felt so good!!! I told one of the practitioners there - who is also one of the previous students from International Institute of Massage Therapy, where I substitute, that I was going to come and hang out at their place! It is definitely where magic will be happening!


I later got to work with one of the current massage students going over muscles; their origins, insertions, and actions. It was fun, but it was also a little long. We were reviewing for just about 3 hours straight! But don't fret - I made it fun. I even did silly little things to help him remember other muscles and what he needed to know for his final next week.


Ah, but let me get back to last night... and part of this morning too. I'll start with "50 First Dates". Well, beside the fact that I love this movie as well... my Darling loves it too. (By the way - I love the soundtrack.) AND, although I fell sleep with the movie eventually watching ME, I woke up this morning and finished watching it and kept replaying the credit portion of the movie so I can listen to the amazing music. One of my favorite songs (version of the songs) on there is: "Every Breathe You Take". *sigh* Love love


Oh, and "The Sagan Diary". Wow - I liked that I could relate to this little read, both militarily and also emotionally. If I were to quote some of my favorite lines... I might as well post and quote the entire read. However, if I HAD TO narrow it down, the ones that are "PG" to write (lol) would be:


- "Let me speak your name"
- "Words fail me"
- "I must apologize to you. I am sitting with you and you are talking to me, telling me about the world to which we are going, where you and I will start our lives together. I'm sure what you're saying is important-critical things I need to know, about a place I have never been but where I will spend the rest of my days. I am sure you are telling me things I need to hear, but I must confess I'm not hearing a single word."
- "This is what I fear. And I confess that part of me hates you a little for it, hates that you have taken my life and so threaded it with yours that I can't pull away without losing myself; I who had always been whole in myself but who now knows what she stands to lose in losing you... I fear a life without you and you without me.... I choose not to share this fear with you. You do not deserve to have it put on you... I feel ashamed I have this fear, based on nothing real, called into existence by my own irrationality."- "There are things you still have to learn about me and this is one of them. It is not that you are too considerate but that I don't mind when you tell me what you want and put that first instead of last."
" I smile and I want to kiss you, but not here and not now. I do not want a last kiss in an old body and in an old life. I want a first kiss in a new life, a promise fulfilled and no regrets. I am looking forward to that kiss. I hold it in my thoughts as I hold myself there and you there with me."


It's interesting that sometimes when I read the words of this author - his writing style and words that rise and fall with emotions, clarity and thought, I sometimes think of my own writings. Especially the ones I express more of the heart, or even in my own journals not written on here. I smile because I can relate to many of the words in that story, I blush because of similar unexpressed emotions too tender to place for the readers on here, I reminisce because many of these thoughts have also been my own.


Where words fail I hope my actions have compensated, and I hope my hands, arms and heart are still enough... for now.


There is no negotiating with Fear. I see it for what it is, for it's purpose. I allow it to show itself, acknowledge it, and make my own informed decisions.


Much love and light...
XOXOXOXO

Thursday's Happenings and The Sagan Diary

Thursday evening was pretty awesome. I got to do Energy work on a client after her massage. There was a little stagnation going on so I used my singing bowl to help her clear some of the vibrational blocks she had going on in her body. When I was doing Reiki on her it was a pretty sweet experience. I was able to see her with a growing belly in the next couple of months... she'll be getting pregnant soon. =)


Then, I was able to get a facial done by one of the co-workers, of whom I traded that she'll work on me instead of paying me space rent for two months. It was our first of 10 sessions. It felt so good. Amazing! LOL


At home, I actually played the guitar and played some old songs I've not sung for a few years. Some of the songs I forgot how to play (sad day), and others I struggled with but was able to find the chords and remember how the tunes went. One of the memorable things that happened last night was that I was able to finish "The Sagan Diary" by John Scalzi. I want to go more into it, however, I don't have the time right now.


Man alive...  I loved "The Sagan Diary"! I'll quote a few of my favorite parts on another entry when I have the time to post. For now... I have to help a student study for next week's finals.


Love and light,


XOXOXOXO

A Beautiful Quote

At the beginning of the year, I was struggling with now knowing my mission or purpose in life. At times I think there are too many instances when I've felt that I've had to do something so significant or world changing in order to have self validation or feel like I've "completed" something. I think this beautiful quote really says it all:


"We don't have to go in search of our mission or purpose. The more we search for it, the more it will elude us. We just have to be ourselves and find our joy in the present moment or do what calls us in the present moment and our mission will unfold." - Anita Moorjani

A Bit of an Accent....

So, many of you know that when I was in high school (Kamehameha Schools) I went to Rarotonga, in the Cook Islands for a student exchange program. This was the summer between grades 11 and 12. Man alive, I can't express how fun and crazy that time was as well. Even though I am a Polynesian, it's sometimes weird to feel so white with my brown skin.


Seriously - if you haven't read my blog entry about going to Hawai'i in 2009 with my friend Julie. Well, in the pictures, you'll see me sipping on a coconut. I believe I wrote something to the effect of "here's a picture of two coconuts". It's true. Sometimes I feel like I'm brown on the outside but white on the inside! LOL... truth is, I'm just me.... with all my awkward and quirkiness.


Anyway, I met this lady (before I got to have a massage!!!!!). Her name is Anna. Needless - to - say, she had questions about the massage school of which I was able to help her with. But, when I got to the counter to speak with her, I had this instant bond with her and I didn't quite know why - yet. It wasn't until she spoke a few words... I knew I was speaking to another island native. She was from Australia. It was quite hilarious when she kept talking, my Cook Island accent started coming back out. My co-workers were staring at me and laughing their butts off. Goodness, it felt weird to speak like that again, yet, I couldn't shut it off! My words were faltering until I accepted it and allowed it that it flowed without struggle. It was lovely.


When we hugged goodbye I felt that she was homesick and I told her "I know your heart is aching, and know that home is always going to be with you." She broke down in my arms... I held and embraced her while she cried. It was a beautiful little journey. I told her to call me next week and I'll take her to the water... one of my sacred place I like to go. Hopefully it will help her heal the ache of being so homesick.

R&R

***I found this as well, and thought I'd attempt to add some pictures, but the blog isn't allowing me to add photos. ugh! So, you all will have to deal with the only picture I have of that for not... kalo cereal. ****


Well, I went home to Hawai'i for R&R. AND, I also made a lovely stop to see my buddy Keaton and her family (of whom I am ETERNALLY grateful that they let me stay in their home), and also spent time with family in Lewisville. I must admit, it was nice to see some of my friends at church as well. So thankful for them.

Hawai'i was wonderful. It was so nice to be able to sit back and relax. AND, relax I did. I gained 7 pounds! ha ha ha!

I decided to just put a few pictures on here from my trip. I am soooo thankful that I got to stay with my brother Keoki, Foeata and family, and to my awesome brother-in-law who will soon graduate as a chef, and made homemade crab cakes! They were amazing!

Happy Day of Gratitude for Mothers!

Here is another draft that I had in my folder... this was from 2012. I was living with my brother Keoki and his family on O'ahu. (They supported me after I came back from overseas and also while I was going to Massage Therapy School.)


I heard my brother say that today was not only "Mother's Day", but a "day of gratitude for mommy". (speaking of my sister-in-law, Foeata.)

I think he nailed it right on the head that Mother's Day should definitely be a day of gratitude. Not that we have to commercialize every holiday, but simple little thoughts that are meaningful. 

ROTC & Madison Happenings 2009

LOL! I was going through the "draft" folder of my blog and noticed I had an old picture of me in my Army greens. ("Class A's") Oh the days of ROTC! Also... I remember this bruised picture. This was during one of our ROTC lab days on Thursdays that we were playing paint ball against each other doing military tactics and movements. Man alive... this was the back of my arm, and it hurt so bad. I do have to say - it was a sweet bruise.

Play Day

Yesterday was a little play day for the students at International Institute of Massage Therapy. "Why", you might ask? "Because I said so"! ha ha ha ... just kidding.


Because I'm still substituting just reading over the material wasn't cutting it for the majority of the students. So, thinking quickly on my feet, I busted out the dry erase markers! As we went over the posterior distal leg muscles (a.k.a. the lower muscles on the back-side of the leg) I had them draw the outline of the muscles - the origin and insertion of the muscles on my legs and tell me what actions I needed to engage my foot/legs into in order to have the proper palpation and function of the muscles we were working on.


It was hilarious. Some of the students looked at me like I was freakin' crazy, and the others were having fun with it. There's one student who is so smart, that simple things have to be done in a fun way in order to make it "click" for him. When he was drawing on my legs, he was visually and physically able to get it. He was having fun now that Kinesiology was making sense for him. I guess if I have to donate my body to the learning of massage therapy, might as well have fun doing it, eh?!?

Happy Monday and Substituting

Indeed my friends, it was an overall happy Monday.


I have been blessed with the chance to substitute the massage classes today through Wednesday. Not only will they keep me busy with teaching, but it also keeps me busy with learning as well. Because this is a different curriculum than when I was in school, it's neat to have to learn new things, and RE-learn some other things. Definitely keeps me on my toes.


I was able to reconnect with some friends that I took the ThetaHealing DNA 1 & 2 instructor's course with, and even got to say hello to two of the Lott boys and Andy. (All of whom work at the store.)


There are surely some other things that happened today that I don't really care to put on here, but just know - today was a good day.


Feeling a little bummed that a dear friend of mine will be out of reach for a while, but I know he'll be reading the blog every once in a while.


My apologies for a non-descriptive day. I'm sure tomorrow will have more adventures on it.


Much love and light to all.


XOXOXOXO