Soccer Game

Well, I originally had a whole other blog entry already done and prepared about how I was able to go to Sandy, Utah and watch the RSL vs. Seattle Sounders FC MLS teams play. To be quite honest, I don't think I want to rehash the whole thing again. ugh... sorry peeps. (By the way, I laughed my butt off when I found out who SL was playing against!)

 

Long story short, Friday night Ryan Hales called and asked if I had plans for the next day. Even though I did, I still told him "no" and asked what I could do for him and Britt. He stated that they had an extra ticket to go to Utah, to the Rio Tinto Soccer Stadium, and if I wanted to go, I could meet them at their home at 0700 the next morning. I said yes and the next day we were on our way.

 

Utah was pretty. I was definitely wearing too much clothes. I felt hot and felt like I was going to pass out. I mean, come on, I had jeans and a light loose flower shirt on and I was melting! So, I rolled up my jeans making big cuffs in them so they would be capris. I'm glad I was at least wearing slippers! Geez.

 

While I was down there I felt I needed to get a hold of another battle buddy of mine who I knew was going to be in Utah. (He lives in Arizona with his two girls. We went to BCT and AIT together and kept in touch through both of our deployments.) Anyway, I sent him a picture of the soccer stadium. He was excited I was in Utah and wanted to say HI, but I didn't have the time and he was still working.

 

I didn't quite understand why I felt I needed to let him know I was in town, but he told me that he was heading back out overseas in October. No gear up - just packing up and heading out. As I thought about why I should want to say hello, it dawned on me that he needs closure. I don't think I'll have the time to come down and see him off before he heads out to Ranger school in September, but I do think I owe it to him to see that I've moved forward and to understand the reasons why I couldn't stay in a friendship where I kept being pulled in emotionally only when he needed me and then pushed away when crap was going on in his life. It hurt, but I was done. It took a while to move passed him, but I'm glad I did. I would have missed out on a lot if I hadn't. I'm not a toy and couldn't deal with the ups and downs, being tossed like a yo-yo. Sad thing is, shame on me for letting him do that and thinking that he'll be different with me. He's a good man, but not for me.

 

Anyway - that wasn't in the original posting, but I guess for some reason, that information needed to be on here.


Before we got to our seats I saw there were a bunch of latino eateries. Man alive - the food smelled soooooooo good. I had horchata (which wasn't mixed right), a churro (which was stale) and a palette (which was divine!!!!!!!).

 

The rest of the travel home was pretty much spent with me dozing in and out with the lulling of the car engine. I'm really glad I was able to go and have fun with Ry and Bean. I've missed hanging out with my friends (even though most of them are already married with children). OH! And they are expecting their first baby. They are 7 weeks along. I'm really excited for them. They will make great parents.

 

Okay my darling friends - it was an enjoyable time to be with you all on here. I hope you enjoyed my randomness of blogging about my life that has nothing really to do with the soccer game. LOL

 

Love and light!

My Dearest Mr. Pili~

In my "Love Journal" I used to write to my future Mr. Someone and address him as if I was sitting there in front of him, holding his hands in mine, or me holding his face while calling him various "pet names". (Never quite understood "pet names", but I've found that I have succumbed to the art of the lovey nicknames. Ugh - ha ha ha ha ha) So, as to keep the tradition alive for my future Mr. Pili... here's what I want in a soul mate, a life mate, a life partner, my lifelong friend, my forever, my complimentary half (LOL), my everything.... my love.


My Dearest Mr. Pili ~


Hello my love. It'll be a beautiful day under snow, sunshine, hail or rain, when I get to be with you. I'm pretty sure you'd just want me to get to the point of what I want in someone, (the characteristics, the description, is he tall, short, dark skinned, white skinned, rich, etc...) and although I do have a long list of characteristics for you and for me - it's really pretty simple. But I'm sure I can make it complicated for you.


You see, I have this huge capacity to love, and have all this love inside of me, that I want to be able to whole heartedly give it to you, and have it reciprocated. I'd love for you to be goal oriented and driven, has things of the heart, goals, and future that are the same or similar (heading in the same direction) as me, and yet has hobbies and things that you like to do for YOU as well. I would love to know how I can support you in your goals and dreams, and how I can be there for you... whether as a silent support, a listening ear, a hand to wipe your tears, or arms to hold and love you through your days.


I don't want to just "live" with or without you. I want to grow with you. I want to build a life with you and your/our family. I want to be that old couple that still goes out on dates, walks hand in hand, and makes others blush. Because when were 90, and in wheelchairs, we'll be strolling down the lane with our great grandbabies pushing us while our fingers are interlinked and giggling while listening to them wish that when they are our age, they hope to have a love just like ours. And year after year, we find all the many reasons to fall in love with each other over and over again, and more and more each time.


I want to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night knowing that the person who is there next to me loves and trusts me enough to be "present" for me. Most importantly you will allow me to do the same for you.


I hope you can see me as a prize, someone worth wanting, loving, cherishing; because I see myself that way, and I see you as someone worth wanting, loving, cherishing, and working for to make you laugh and smile. I want you to be who you are and express the things that you need in all areas of your life, because I can't support you or love you the way you need to be supported and loved if I don't know.


Talk with me, spend time with me, tell me your dreams and fears.... let me love you through it.


I know I've stated a lot, but what it really comes down to is this; I want someone who will let me love him, support him, grow with him, and laugh with him... But above all, you'll be willing to do all these things for me.


I look forward to having you in my life.... one day.


So, until then.... my dearest Mr. Pili, whomever you are:


I Love You.

Bearing of the Soul

Tonight I was able to talk with a very dear, loving, and wonderful person. Someone who I have come to know, learn about, learn from, and above love and be loved. This entry may not be understood or mean a lot to others, but for me, it dives deeper into my heart than I've ever let people in before. This is me, being totally vulnerable about something that is so dear to my heart... my future Mr. Pili. (Whomever he may be.) ;-)


First and foremost, I know that you all have come to understand that I tend to be a bit random at times. It seems the older I become the more my focus, attitude, priorities shift and change. I've noticed it even through my recent blogging.


Steven R. Covey once stated something to the effect of: Journal. Write. Because, you will see that what you write/journal about, is what means the most to you and where your thoughts/priorities have been/are. (Don't judge... I was totally paraphrasing in a Pili kind of way.)


Secondly, here's a random quote that I've had in my healing notebook:


"I have no significant competitors but myself." - Dan Kennedy


Now - on to the heart.


For years my idea of  "love" was to get married young, have lots of babies, serve my husband, go to church, and take care of the family. Now, I don't want to say that's entirely off... but my views on some things have definitely changed.


You know... I think I'm going to write my "Bearing of the Soul" in letter form to my future someone.


READ THE NEXT ENTRY!


XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

New Blog Title

I know some of you may be wondering what's up with the new blog title, and all I have to say.... it's about time.


I chose "The Evolution of Ms. Pili", because that's who I am and what I've been doing. Evolving, changing, becoming better.... becoming me. For the rest of my life, I want to continue getting better. Learning and growing. I hope I will have someone that would want to grow and evolve with me as well.


There are times in our lives, when we don't always like to see the bad, the ugly, the truth, of who and what we are, and why we do some of the things we do. This past year I've worked on stripping away the labels and expectations of others and myself, and took a vulnerable look at what me. I won't lie, I didn't like a lot of things that I was seeing. It seems that I had a look good/victim/blame other people for what was happening to me, kind of attitude instead of taking responsibilities for the things I was/have been attracting in my life. And other times, I only heard the things that I wanted to hear, and not what the real truth behind some people's words.


I think that is why I am a bit more cautious with things. Especially things of the heart. I mentally know what is right and what "should" happen, but who am I to attempt "WHAT IS" or other's "CHOICES" for their lives when they have nothing to do with me. Well, because 1) I love people and don't like for others to be hurt. I would rather suffer than to be a cause of someone else's suffering. (Stupid belief system!) 2) Being loved by another is scary... I'm usually always waiting for the other person to get bored and leave, or for the fight or flight syndrome to kick in for me. What a horrible way to live! 3) Not that loving someone or being loved is a bad or hard thing... but sometimes, being loved without expectations can be overwhelming. I almost don't know what to do with it most of the time. Ugh... oh well.


Aaaaaaannnnnnnnnnddddddddd, I think I totally just went off on a random tangent. LOL


I hope you all enjoyed that. Okay - it's late, and I've got to get to sleep. Enjoy the new blog title and all my little entries. XOXOXO

A Day Full of Happenings

I decided to start tackling my receipt piles that have been forming in various areas... my car, my receipt box, my purse, my "To File" pile, my "taxes" pile.... etc. It's pretty ridiculous. I can honestly tell you that sometimes having your own business is a bit more time consuming than most think. Not to mention you have to be self driven and motivated. I'm not saying that I'm not, just some days are a bit harder to stay motivated in things than other days.  Ugh...


Okay, I'm done complaining. While organizing, highlighting, and writing on the receipts, I had Pandora playing in the background. I found myself singing along to an island jam that I fell in love with when I was visiting O'ahu a few years ago. Here's the link:


She Gimmie Love - Collie Buddz


For some of you who have not heard this song, I hope you enjoy the chill vibe you get from it and appreciate the love you receive from your significant other. And for those who are single - I can totally relate to you - it's still a good jam. ENJOY!


Moving right along - this morning started pretty early with my internal alarm clock woke me about 0605, 20 minutes before my phone and watch alarms were to go off. I stayed in bed and listened to repeat messages on my phone and lost track of time. I jumped up, got in the shower, ate breakfast and got picked up by Jasmine to head to the school. There, we prepped for the Health Fair gathering a massage table, massage chair, and packing the event suitcase with items such as paper towels, hand sanitizers, cleaning wipes, sheets, a bunch of promotional brochures etc, and printed coupons with customized event information on it.


At the event, I ran into two of my battles from my unit. The first was 2LT Wilson. He was there representing Gold's Gym, of course he's attempting to get me to sign up.... and I have a tour of the facility next week. LOL.... Actually, I've been wanting to work out at a gym again. I've missed it since being overseas. The second person was SFC Snyder, of whom I deployed with. He wasn't selling anything - he is an employee of the business we were there with. It was really neat to see them both in the "civilian" world.


The Health Fair really was a success. I was there with two other professional massage therapists that I work with and most of the massage therapy students and a recent graduate. It was nice to be with them at such a fun event. We were busy the whole time with tons of different people. I got to trade on and off working on people with Shari - our recent graduate. (I was also able to get on the table where she worked on me for a few minutes and then I had her release my sub-scapula. If you've never had that done - man alive, it hurts like a ... well, you fill in the blanks.) There were a few people who have had issues with different massage therapists in the back, but hopefully I was able to change their mind that massage does not have to be painful.


Speaking of painful, well - not really, but Darby (another recent graduate) was at the facility when we got back from the event. I hugged her neck and we chit-chatted for a little bit, and then she ended up working on my back for about 30 minutes. I got up to the studio, and when she started working on me, I wanted to burst into tears. I had a lot of emotions that were coming up, but just weren't releasing from my body. It was crazy. You see, Darby is definitely a special woman, who I usually go to if I need work done. She's worked on my body, and knows how to help it release - physically and emotionally. When she massages, she massages with unconditional love, it's a beautiful thing. Although the body work was brief, it still made a huge impact on my body. Oh, and did I ever feel it when I went to work out this evening.


After a bunch of time passed by with working on my tax receipts, my "getting ready for Zumba" alarm went off indicating I had 30 minutes to change, get ready, and drive across town for Zumba class. It was a blast tonight. However, there were a few songs I didn't know, and OH MY LANTA, it was stinking hilarious to watch my instructor up there dancing one of the new songs. She was such a ham! I couldn't stop laughing! People thought I was crazy.... I didn't care, I was having fun. Then there are booty rolling moves that I just stood there and stared. I was like "uh uh... no no... not a bloody chance".... but once I got into the groove of the song, I started hamming it up a little too. It really was a fun night, and a fun day overall. (My body is a bit tight and sore - I wish I could have gone to the hot springs tonight to soak.)


This evening I was also able to talk to my parents on the phone and my second brother, Keoki. Yesterday was his birthday, so I called to wish him a belated birthday since I was out on the farm with no reception. Goodness, he was telling me stories that had me busting a gut. I don't think it would be appropriate to share his experiences with everyone here, but if you know my brother, it was funny. I really miss that brother and family. They live on O'ahu. I stayed with them after overseas and while I was going to massage therapy school. From their house, it took two hours one way (door to door) to get to my massage therapy school. I just spent most of the time on the bus studying. Granted, that was only if I wasn't sleeping, or watching a movie on my ipod.


Just a little personal note, I'll share that this past week I've been feeling a little reclusive. Keeping more to myself. Almost going internally. It's almost a strange place to be, but yet, very much needed. *sigh* Tomorrow, since I don't have an clients, I am going to make sure I do something for myself, but insure that it's out of my "normal" comfort zone. Who knows... I might end up at the four letter "M" word. LOL (Anyone catch on to it?)


Anyway, one love to all.


AND for "Gums".... XOXOXOXOXO
Glad I could make you laugh and smile.

A Farm Filled Day

As I stated in my previous entry, today I went to Jasmine's to help on her little farm. Not only were we constantly herding little goats every so often, we were moving hay bales, wood, various sizes of brick, a tire, cleaned up shards of broken glass, created a little duck hutch, a new summer goat hutch, and moved ducks and chickens around as needed for fencing purposes etc. It was a fun day.


For din-din we had the infamous Lucy's pizza. Well, we really had a calzone that we shared, with cheesy breadsticks and a small salad. Man alive, I can't even tell you how hungry I was! I couldn't believe it! I ate half of my portion of the breadsticks, half of the calzone (which is about 1/4 of a pizza), and a small to-go box of salad stuffed to the top. It's amazing how working in the sun most of the day drains you and miraculously increases your appetite. LOL


Anyway, I was thankful that I got to help. Tomorrow will be the Health Fair at one of the bigger work businesses in the local area. I'll be there to help educate and promote massage therapy for myself and for the school. Hopefully this will help pick up business a little bit. I'm not prepared for it at all, as an individual practitioner. I would normally have had little gift certificates or coupons there, or a little brochure about my techniques and training etc. HOWEVER, I don't, and I'm okay with it.


This evening has been full of rain, lightning, and very little thunder. I usually like to sit outside or by a window and watch the lightning shows, but very rarely do I ever like driving at night in the rain... especially when there's a lot of lightning. It makes me really nervous. I don't enjoy that at all. Ugh... LOL, but on a brighter side, it was pretty to see the lightning light up the sky!


Okay, I'm off to bed. Waking up at 0600. One love to all!

A Little Bit of Healing

Since the last blog entry, I believe I didn't fall asleep that night until about 4 am yesterday morning... or at least it was around 0400. Who's keeping track anyway, right? LOL!


I woke up about 10:30 am and couldn't get out of bed. I eventually did, soaked in the tub about 10 minutes, then was running out the door. (surprise, surprise) I went to Jasmine's home to let the dogs into the house as there was a crew working on re-fencing her small farm. It was a little strange to see all these vehicles and guys at her house. I don't know - just strange.


I got to the facility about 1:30 pm to set up for two 90 minute massages. Since leaving for military schooling in April, I've only massaged, not including the two I did yesterday, MAYBE only 5 or 6 times. That's pretty sad. Needless-to-say, business has significantly declined since then. I don't blame it, how can anyone rely on someone who was consistently gone for just about 4 months. Sheesh. I'll be honest, there were times I was thinking of just closing up shop and going back to doing admin work that I've done since I was 18.... geez - I'm getting "wiser". ha ha ha ha ha ha... but who's keeping track anyway. Age is just a state of mind.


The two massages were awesome. My first client was a regular. He owns a Chinese restaurant and brought me some sweet and sour chicken with friend rice for me to eat. Little did he know, I was on a week of NO EATING MEAT - I know people, don't go into shock. It went from last Tuesday to yesterday. It was actually pretty nice to do that again. I think I'm going to do it at least once a year to give my body an animal protein break, so it can process and heal. Most people I've spoken to who knew about this were a bit appalled by it. But you see, there were about two years in high school (at Kamehameha Schools) that I was a vegetarian. The food was actually pretty good.


After the massages, there was a healing circle that one of the massage student puts on - Cultivating Meditations - you can find it on Facebook. (By the way, I'm still not on FB, and am STILL loving my privacy.) I got out there a little late but when I got there, I was able to jump right in. There were nine people all in attendance, and all in some kind of a healing modality or intuitive in their own way. The purpose of the Healing Circle is to bring together like-minded people in an exchange of healing, and unconditional love, to raise the vibration of the area, and a place where others can practice their modalities.


Well, last night was Magic. When asked what I would like to have worked on, I stated that I'd like to have healing on my heart. Not just my physical, but my emotional/ethereal heart. Wow, the things that people saw and felt and the things I saw and felt as well.... it felt beautiful to receive a healing for myself. I think that is something that is beautiful in and of itself. To allow others in my space, to ask for AND to allow myself to receive a healing. I won't go into details as for what was shared because it's something special to me. However, I can say that last night's healing circle couldn't have come at a better time. THANK YOU ALL!


After the healing circle, Jasmine and I went to grab something to eat since I hadn't eaten since about 1230 earlier that day. I had a vegetarian burrito with horchata. (I know - vegetarian burrito - blasphemy!) ha ha ha ha ha ha Well, I can honestly say, it was pretty good. P.S. Horchata is one of my favorite drinks.


Stayed at Jasmine's last night. Went to the farm to see how the fencing was coming along from earlier that day. And, part of the fence was down. Hmmmm.... "hopefully the goats didn't get out" is what I told Jazzy. Anyway, this morning, Jasmine comes into my room and tells me that she had to herd the goats back to the yard because part of the back fence was down that we didn't see late last night. She had them on somewhat of a leash, then they took off... tripped her up, spun her around, and she landed on her back being pulled by the goats. (Something you'd see in a cartoon for sure!) Man alive, I wish I had a was awake and had a camera!


Anyway, today I'm back out to the farm to help her herd the animals while the guys fence. Good luck to us, eh?!?


XOXOXOXO

Still Awake and Full of Emotions

Tonight I worked out doing Zumba, and the playlist was AMAZING! Lots of reggaeton, salsa, salsa/hip hop, and just good hard driving music with a heavy beat. Needless to say, it was really hot and I pushed myself pretty hard. However, during the third song I realized that I had some latent emotions that were coming up for me. So what do you do when emotions come up that you don't quite know what to do with?.... you push harder, right? RIGHT!


By the end of the night, I was so exhausted it felt amazing.


The only thing - it's just about midnight, and I'm still awake and full of emotions. I've been listening to music to see if that would help me, but I just seem to be drawn to more of the sad heart wrenching songs. You know, the kind that slaps you in the face, rips your heart out, and then leaves you crying alone in your bed with sheets and blankets that will never hold you tight enough.


So, I'm going back to listening to music that will hopefully help me sleep... but I have a feeling it'll still keep me awake.... full of emotions.... and nowhere to put them.

YAY!!!!!!!!

A few months ago Jasmine bought me this ring... it's our "sisters" ring. She has one like it but the garnet portion is a little more angle like a triangle. The weekend during graduation I took the ring off, at night, and put it on the bed next to me. Long story short, I've been freaking out about it because I felt sick to my stomach not knowing if I lost it or what. I looked at our facility, at home, in my car, and Jasmine and I even looked in the room I stayed in... undid the bed and everything.


Well, last night, I had a feeling to look in my duffle bag that I had while staying at Jasmine's just in case the ring fell in there. This evening, I gingerly began undoing the duffle bag shaking out each item of clothes and nothing. I then went to the side duffle pocket where my undies and socks were and as I took them out, I saw something fall deeper in the pocket. I moved things around.... and TA DA! There it was! Here's the ring I wear on my right ring finger.







Phew... Thank goodness! Happy happy!

Happy Graduation and Welcome to Idaho!

The first weekend in August was the graduation for the night students from the International Institute of Massage Therapy. I have been honored to have had the opportunity to know, grow with, and love these amazing women who graduated. What made this graduation extra special, was that my parents were able to come in from California. It was really awesome. I felt like I was able to rediscover who they were as I've been doing a lot of self work. Pretty neat indeed.

 This first picture is of me showing Jasmine how to close the ends of a haku that we were making. It was really neat to be able to do that for the students and to teach Jasmine the art I learned from my Tutu Lady.

Jasmine completing her first haku lei.

Jasmine's first lei.

One of Pili's leis.

Dad, P, Patsi, and Mom

P, Jasmine & Mom - our faces exploded with .... something!

Sisters Jasmine & Pili

On Sunday night, day after graduation, mom and dad came over to Jasmine's and we had a nice little dinner that Jasmine cooked. (Can't remember exactly all we ate, but it was yummy!) I brought the guitar over and I was also able to play some music for them. It was kind of embarrassing that I've forgotten how to sing and play a lot of the songs that I've written, however, they thought it was fun. Phew! LOL

Monday we ventured out to see Shawna, Ikaika, and Kaiwainohia. (Ikaika is my first cousin. Our mom's are sisters.) First, it started with a little trip to Mt. Olympus (the wellness facility where I have my massage studio). Mom and dad wanted to see Jasmine, and I was able to get them on the T-Zone (giggle machine), and then in the ionic footbath. Man alive, can we say that they both had a lot of funk come out of the pancreas, kidneys etc. Hey, it was better to get it out than to stay in their body! 

We then ventured and took our time heading to Twin Falls, Idaho, where we stopped at the Shoshone Falls. It was beautiful and sacred at the same time. Due to time constraints, we didn't get to stay very long, but man - it was beautiful! I'd forgotten how sensitive and in-tune my mom was, however, when we were driving down to the overlook, she could feel the energy of the large rock formations and felt healing. It was pretty neat to witness and to share in that experience with her and my dad.

Here's a picture my mom took of me at the falls. It looks like I was upset, but I promise, I wasn't.... my face just naturally looks like that sometimes. HA HA HA HA HA

Mom took this picture of me at the Shoshone falls.... wish I had a picture of the falls.

When we finally got to Shawna and Ikaika's, Shawna had rice and shoyu chicken cooking on the stove. That was so nice and the food was amazing! I can't believe the last time I was there was a little over a year ago when Kawainohia was born. I was in the hospital just a couple of hours after he was born. He's sooooo cute and so huge. It was an amazing experience to sit and chat, play with baby, and mom and I even danced hula. Loved it! I can't believe I don't dance hula anymore. Weird.... because I love it!

Shawna, Ikaika, and Kawainohia

Kissy kissy

Auntie Pili and Kawainohiahiwaokahaku a.k.a. Kawainohia. (Geez, what a mouth full! LOL!!!!!!)

 A few years ago my dad came up for a hula show that I danced in with Auntie Lee Shroeder. It was winter and we were having a hula show! It was kind of weird and funny to have people wearing tons of layers. Oh well, welcome to the mainland yeah? lol

Anyway, during that time, Aunt Priscilla, Grandpa Rock's sister, was over there in Idaho visiting for a few weeks. When she and my dad met, it was almost love at first dinner. You see, growing up, my dad came a humble farming background where food was sometimes eaten very sparingly. He and his siblings would sometimes take food off each others plate while the prayer was being said! So, when we sat down for dinner, Aunt Priscilla told my dad that they would get a long just fine as long as he stayed out of her food. My dad busted out with a hearty laugh. They became instant friends for life!

Dad and Aunt Priscilla

On Tuesday, we stayed around the local area doing things such as letting mom and dad experience some of the lovely things about Idaho that's unique to our area. One of those experiences were eating Reed's Dairy Ice Cream, drinking their yummy/creamy chocolate milk, and cheese curds. I wish I had a picture of mom and dad's face upon eating the ice cream. It was classic! Their ice cream is just so creamy that you can't help but love it! Mom wanted to take our picture, so dad and I paused with our lips in the ice cream waiting for mom to snap the shot. If she took any longer, we would have had to have forgotten the whole thing.... our lips were cold and freezing from being on the ice cream!

P & Dad showing off our ice cream, chocolate milk, and cheese curds.

Pili eating a HUGE Reed's Dairy double scoop Huckleberry Ice Cream.

 On Wednesday, I was able to take my mom and dad to Utah - we took our time of course. I took them to the Dancing Crane Imports (one of my favorite places), and then just cruised around looking at things and chilled until 10pm when the Amtrak office was open. We found out that their train was delayed for 4 hours due to flooding going on in the various states. It was a nice send off for my mom and dad. I'm really glad they had a chance to come and visit for a while. I'm hoping that many more of my family members will be able to come and visit as well. It gets only without family.

Thanks mom and dad for visiting!

Love you both!