Little Goodbyes

On Monday, I caught a last minute flight back to Rexburg. (I was getting antsy and decided it was time to come back home.)


Wednesday morning, I get a call from my mom... My grandfather finally passed away.


I had to call my brother, Enoka, because my mom couldn't get a hold of him. Later that day he told me that my three older niece and nephews were taking the news well, except the last nephew. Fatso was having a hard time with Papa's death.


Needless-to-say, I've been okay, except when I've been talking to family members. It's soooo hard to talk to them- to hear them cry. I do, however, tend to save my tears until I'm off the phone.


I've designated this weekend as the time when I'll mourn, but I've been finding it a bit harder than I thought.


I keep telling myself that I'm okay and that I'll have my time to cry later. But who am I kidding? When someone is mourning, the best time to mourn is when you're feeling it. Suppressing the feelings only drags out the hurt and the pain more. Sometimes, we lash out at the people who are only trying to help us, and that's not healthy either.

To cry or not to cry... that is the question.