Before you know it, it'll be April Fool's Day, then Memorial Day, Mother's/Father's Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and finally Christmas! Can you believe that it's already the 17th of March?!? The time certainly flies by!!!
Also, yesterday, I went to my unit to discuss when I'd be leaving for BCT. Since I've had two deaths in the family of blood relatives, they were concerned that I wouldn't be ready to ship. Honestly, I didn't want to ship so soon, but left it up to my body fat taping. I was 2% under my allotted body fat. Meaning... I am off to Ft. Sill, OK on Monday morning!!!!
I fly out to Oakland, CA on Friday, back to Idaho on Sunday morning (around 1 am), then work on Monday, and then... gone until August!
AAAAHHHHHH! I'm so excited, and yet... soooo nervous!
I am definitely going to miss people. Especially... well... yes. I will miss you too my friend. (Not that you'd ever read this.) ;)
Peace people!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Passing of a Loved One
Some of you may know, and some of you may not know.
My favorite uncle, Uncle Randall Kau'i Alesna, passed away quickly on Friday, 12 March 2010 at 12:36 P.M.
Funeral is in Hayward, California - This Saturday.
I don't know how much more our hearts can take. This hurts, and it sucks - but then again, that's life I guess.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The ARRNG Countdown
The joy of trying to get everything done before shipping out…
Some of you may know that I enlisted in the Army National Guard.
My ship date is Monday, 22 March 2010. I will conduct my basic training in Oklahoma, and will then complete my follow up advanced training in Missouri.
To be honest, I’m starting to get a bit nervous about going. I’ve had a foot injury for over a month and have not been able to do my PT (cardio stuff) since then. This sucks – seriously. But, these last two weeks, I am spending as much free time as I can working my butt off. Whether it’s in the pool, on the treadmill, elliptical, spinning bike, pounding pavement, or the sauna…. I’m there!
Life is getting a bit crazier, with barely time to breathe and relax, but I think I’m hanging there.
Any words of encouragement from people in the military are welcome. (Even if you’re not in the military and have any advice etc., feel free to send it over.)
Oh, and if I don’t write again before I leave, I’ll see you all in August.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Emotions...
Obviously I've not blogged in a while.
A short wrap up on the past month or so:
- grandpa passed away
- aunts and uncles are fighting about the funeral and materialistic things
- friends are moving away
- funeral this weekend for grandpa
- heart was ripped out of my chest today
- injured toe (still)
- co-worker is getting married (yay!)
- trying to get life in order at work for when I leave
- getting military things in order (fast ship)
- trying to keep focused and motivated
- ROTC lab at Camp Williams on March 19 -20, 21- drill, 22-leave for MEPS, 23- leave for reception, 24- start reception (BCT)
- needing to get all of my homework done in two weeks
- sometimes, just need a friend
- trying to keep my head on straight
- uncle has little time left to live
- decision to know/not know if uncle passes away while I'm at BCT
I'm sure none of this makes sense. But, if you can figure it out- that's what's going on in my life.
A short wrap up on the past month or so:
- grandpa passed away
- aunts and uncles are fighting about the funeral and materialistic things
- friends are moving away
- funeral this weekend for grandpa
- heart was ripped out of my chest today
- injured toe (still)
- co-worker is getting married (yay!)
- trying to get life in order at work for when I leave
- getting military things in order (fast ship)
- trying to keep focused and motivated
- ROTC lab at Camp Williams on March 19 -20, 21- drill, 22-leave for MEPS, 23- leave for reception, 24- start reception (BCT)
- needing to get all of my homework done in two weeks
- sometimes, just need a friend
- trying to keep my head on straight
- uncle has little time left to live
- decision to know/not know if uncle passes away while I'm at BCT
I'm sure none of this makes sense. But, if you can figure it out- that's what's going on in my life.
One Love~
Friday, January 29, 2010
Little Goodbyes
On Monday, I caught a last minute flight back to Rexburg. (I was getting antsy and decided it was time to come back home.)
Wednesday morning, I get a call from my mom... My grandfather finally passed away.
I had to call my brother, Enoka, because my mom couldn't get a hold of him. Later that day he told me that my three older niece and nephews were taking the news well, except the last nephew. Fatso was having a hard time with Papa's death.
Needless-to-say, I've been okay, except when I've been talking to family members. It's soooo hard to talk to them- to hear them cry. I do, however, tend to save my tears until I'm off the phone.
I've designated this weekend as the time when I'll mourn, but I've been finding it a bit harder than I thought.
I keep telling myself that I'm okay and that I'll have my time to cry later. But who am I kidding? When someone is mourning, the best time to mourn is when you're feeling it. Suppressing the feelings only drags out the hurt and the pain more. Sometimes, we lash out at the people who are only trying to help us, and that's not healthy either.
To cry or not to cry... that is the question.
Wednesday morning, I get a call from my mom... My grandfather finally passed away.
I had to call my brother, Enoka, because my mom couldn't get a hold of him. Later that day he told me that my three older niece and nephews were taking the news well, except the last nephew. Fatso was having a hard time with Papa's death.
Needless-to-say, I've been okay, except when I've been talking to family members. It's soooo hard to talk to them- to hear them cry. I do, however, tend to save my tears until I'm off the phone.
I've designated this weekend as the time when I'll mourn, but I've been finding it a bit harder than I thought.
I keep telling myself that I'm okay and that I'll have my time to cry later. But who am I kidding? When someone is mourning, the best time to mourn is when you're feeling it. Suppressing the feelings only drags out the hurt and the pain more. Sometimes, we lash out at the people who are only trying to help us, and that's not healthy either.
To cry or not to cry... that is the question.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Watching Grass Grow
The other night, while my mom and I were talking, I expressed to her that the only other thing that is more boring that watching and waiting for someone to pass on, is watching and waiting for grass to grow.
Some of you may think that's a little insensitive to say about my dying grandfather, but it's true. Mom and I both had a good chuckle about it.
Last night was a good night, though. Mom had some of her musician and hula friends over. They played music, danced hula, and filled the home with lots of music and laughter. I reversed the baby monitors so Papa could hear what was going on in the front room.
My cousin Annie-Mac was also able to help Uncle Randall, my mom's brother, get set up with Skype on his computer. So, we had the computer going with Uncle Randall and Annie Mac, my mom and I in the room with Papa, and Uncle Sandford and Auntie Aulani on the other telephone and we were telling stories. Later, Uncle Sandford and Auntie Aulani were playing the 'ukulele and singing. It was a beautiful sound.
Some of you may think that's a little insensitive to say about my dying grandfather, but it's true. Mom and I both had a good chuckle about it.
Last night was a good night, though. Mom had some of her musician and hula friends over. They played music, danced hula, and filled the home with lots of music and laughter. I reversed the baby monitors so Papa could hear what was going on in the front room.
My cousin Annie-Mac was also able to help Uncle Randall, my mom's brother, get set up with Skype on his computer. So, we had the computer going with Uncle Randall and Annie Mac, my mom and I in the room with Papa, and Uncle Sandford and Auntie Aulani on the other telephone and we were telling stories. Later, Uncle Sandford and Auntie Aulani were playing the 'ukulele and singing. It was a beautiful sound.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Still Breathin'
Happy 10th anniversary of my grandmother's passing.
Grandpa is still alive and breathing.
He's a stubborn cuss that's for sure. But, that's the beauty of being "The Boss". He's cute.
Today I'm getting out of the house. Too much cabin fever! I'm heading to Vegas to catch a movie or something. Ooooo... Actually, The Golden Spoon sounds really good. Frozen yogurt! Mmmmm!!!!
I think a huge part of me being antsy here is probably due to me having a hurt ligament in my foot and not being able to workout. BLAH! Wretched foot! Oh well. Such is life.
Here's to being sane and getting out of the house!
One love~
Grandpa is still alive and breathing.
He's a stubborn cuss that's for sure. But, that's the beauty of being "The Boss". He's cute.
Today I'm getting out of the house. Too much cabin fever! I'm heading to Vegas to catch a movie or something. Ooooo... Actually, The Golden Spoon sounds really good. Frozen yogurt! Mmmmm!!!!
I think a huge part of me being antsy here is probably due to me having a hurt ligament in my foot and not being able to workout. BLAH! Wretched foot! Oh well. Such is life.
Here's to being sane and getting out of the house!
One love~
Friday, January 22, 2010
A Tender Moment
Tonight I'm pulling night shift since Auntie Candy pulled night shift last night via Skype. Just before I got on to blog, I got to see a very tender moment.
My mother didn't like the way his hair looked, so she got out the hair goop and brush and did his hair up. Then she kissed his head and said, "There you go daddy. You like that don't you? That must feel much better." Then, as she was heading out for the shower, she fixed his blanket and started to softly weep. "I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone. I need to go visit the grandchildren and keep myself busy. I've been doing this for 24/7, and it's going to be hard not having him. He's the last parent. The last grandparent."
I don't think blogging can fully capture the tender moment between a daughter and a dying father.
Tomorrow makes exactly 10 years since my grandmother passed away. If he doesn't pass away by then, then I'm not exactly sure why he's still fighting. But, he's always done things on his own time anyway.
Tonight the dog has been pretty erratic also. Jumping up in the air, and being very clingy. The time is getting close. It's evident.
I'm praying that everyone who wanted/needed to say goodbye made their call in to Papa.
Well, I'm sure I have a long night ahead of me, and I'll probably be back on here blogging more information. (I'm at a lack of emotions at the moment. Not that it's bad-but my time to mourn will come later. But it will come.)
My mother didn't like the way his hair looked, so she got out the hair goop and brush and did his hair up. Then she kissed his head and said, "There you go daddy. You like that don't you? That must feel much better." Then, as she was heading out for the shower, she fixed his blanket and started to softly weep. "I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone. I need to go visit the grandchildren and keep myself busy. I've been doing this for 24/7, and it's going to be hard not having him. He's the last parent. The last grandparent."
I don't think blogging can fully capture the tender moment between a daughter and a dying father.
Tomorrow makes exactly 10 years since my grandmother passed away. If he doesn't pass away by then, then I'm not exactly sure why he's still fighting. But, he's always done things on his own time anyway.
Tonight the dog has been pretty erratic also. Jumping up in the air, and being very clingy. The time is getting close. It's evident.
I'm praying that everyone who wanted/needed to say goodbye made their call in to Papa.
Well, I'm sure I have a long night ahead of me, and I'll probably be back on here blogging more information. (I'm at a lack of emotions at the moment. Not that it's bad-but my time to mourn will come later. But it will come.)
Still Kicking... Literally
This morning, as I entered my grandfather's room, I heard rustling going on. I moved around the side of the bed and there on the side-turned laptop, I saw my Auntie Candy doing her homework on Skype!
Obviously my parents didn't wake me up to pull the night shift on my grandfather. Instead, my Auntie watched him all night so the rest of us here could get some sleep! Thank goodness for technology, eh?!?! Why we hadn't thought of this sooner is beyond me.
Thus far this mornng, Papa opened his eyes once, farted, and has been having leg twitches. His body has been cooling down and his urine has been a very deep red. All things considered, I hope he passes today.
Will keep all of you family and friends updated as it progress or digresses.
Obviously my parents didn't wake me up to pull the night shift on my grandfather. Instead, my Auntie watched him all night so the rest of us here could get some sleep! Thank goodness for technology, eh?!?! Why we hadn't thought of this sooner is beyond me.
Thus far this mornng, Papa opened his eyes once, farted, and has been having leg twitches. His body has been cooling down and his urine has been a very deep red. All things considered, I hope he passes today.
Will keep all of you family and friends updated as it progress or digresses.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Telephone Calls from Loved Ones
Well, it's day two since being in Nevada.
Last night I feel asleep on the couch- trying to nurse my pulled ligament in my foot. Being that I feel asleep early I also pulled night duty for my grandfather. During the night I could hear him moaning with some pain. I gave him his meds every 1 and 3 hours as directed. He slept well throughout the night. Even now, he lays in a supine position, eyes have darkened, cheeks sunken.
One of the blessings, I guess, of dying slowly, is that it allows other people to call in and say their thank you's and goodbye's. I was able to hear from a few of my mother's cousins, and my grandfather's cousins. It was great. During one of the calls, one of the hospice nurses got teary eyed. He hadn't heard so many people express their love and appreciation to someone like our family has been doing. Basically - Welcome to our family.
It's been sweet and rewarding to be here.
Today I spoke with my uncle and we were talking about grieving. Apparently people have been getting upset with him because he hasn't shown some sort of "grief". However, people need to understand that not everyone grieves the same. Some will wail with tears, others will cry silently, and others will mourn at a later time. Point is - we'll all grieve in our own way.
I feel - I'll grieve when I get back to Rexburg next week. And, that's okay.
Last night I feel asleep on the couch- trying to nurse my pulled ligament in my foot. Being that I feel asleep early I also pulled night duty for my grandfather. During the night I could hear him moaning with some pain. I gave him his meds every 1 and 3 hours as directed. He slept well throughout the night. Even now, he lays in a supine position, eyes have darkened, cheeks sunken.
One of the blessings, I guess, of dying slowly, is that it allows other people to call in and say their thank you's and goodbye's. I was able to hear from a few of my mother's cousins, and my grandfather's cousins. It was great. During one of the calls, one of the hospice nurses got teary eyed. He hadn't heard so many people express their love and appreciation to someone like our family has been doing. Basically - Welcome to our family.
It's been sweet and rewarding to be here.
Today I spoke with my uncle and we were talking about grieving. Apparently people have been getting upset with him because he hasn't shown some sort of "grief". However, people need to understand that not everyone grieves the same. Some will wail with tears, others will cry silently, and others will mourn at a later time. Point is - we'll all grieve in our own way.
I feel - I'll grieve when I get back to Rexburg next week. And, that's okay.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)