I'm putting my heart on my sleeve and sharing it with others -
I met someone.
I have a cheesy smile while I'm typing this. He's more than I could have ever imagined for myself. I am so blessed to have him in my life. It's going to be an amazing journey with this man. I'm in total like with him! LOL.... and falling harder every time we talk.
*sigh*
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Healing the Heart
I received an e-mail from a friend this past Sunday. When I first saw the person's name I got nervous but read the subject line: I'm Sorry.
Healing the heart, the full darkness of the heart, has been quite the adventure that I wish on no one and yet hope that everyone gets the chance to purge, feel and heal. To be honest, it is so overwhelming. I've been crying for days and have even had a little freak out at work. (I'm glad I didn't have any customers at that time.)
Just because some people won't be together in this lifetime doesn't mean that the time they shared was for naught.
I've learned that to love someone first and foremost, you must - MUST love yourself. Love ALL of yourself; the good, bad, rights, wrongs, light and darkness. It seems that even when I didn't love myself as much as I thought I did, I still loved others. Now, that I love myself totally, that love for others in the past has just been intensified. Almost overwhelming.
I know that one of my purposes here on Earth is to love. To receive love, to share love, to be love, to experience different kinds of love. It's always been that way since I was little. It's many of the meanings of my Hawaiian name. But I'm sure I didn't know how much loving people can not only feel amazing, wonderful, change and heal people/places/things, but also hurt. Not just hurt as in "I just fell and hurt my knee", but the soul wrenching ache.
I have been blessed to love and be in love. Each has played a significant part of my life and I no longer regret any of my experiences with them. I've learned, grown and have become better because of it. That is more than I can ever ask. I embrace those experiences like an old friend and love them like the sway of a tree being lullabied by the whispering breeze.
Thank you all for loving me and for letting me love you along our paths of life.
I love you, too.
Healing the heart, the full darkness of the heart, has been quite the adventure that I wish on no one and yet hope that everyone gets the chance to purge, feel and heal. To be honest, it is so overwhelming. I've been crying for days and have even had a little freak out at work. (I'm glad I didn't have any customers at that time.)
Just because some people won't be together in this lifetime doesn't mean that the time they shared was for naught.
I've learned that to love someone first and foremost, you must - MUST love yourself. Love ALL of yourself; the good, bad, rights, wrongs, light and darkness. It seems that even when I didn't love myself as much as I thought I did, I still loved others. Now, that I love myself totally, that love for others in the past has just been intensified. Almost overwhelming.
I know that one of my purposes here on Earth is to love. To receive love, to share love, to be love, to experience different kinds of love. It's always been that way since I was little. It's many of the meanings of my Hawaiian name. But I'm sure I didn't know how much loving people can not only feel amazing, wonderful, change and heal people/places/things, but also hurt. Not just hurt as in "I just fell and hurt my knee", but the soul wrenching ache.
I have been blessed to love and be in love. Each has played a significant part of my life and I no longer regret any of my experiences with them. I've learned, grown and have become better because of it. That is more than I can ever ask. I embrace those experiences like an old friend and love them like the sway of a tree being lullabied by the whispering breeze.
Thank you all for loving me and for letting me love you along our paths of life.
I love you, too.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Updating....
Just updating a few things in my life and dejunking others!!!! Man alive, does it feel good to release and let go of "things" and only keeping those things that are meaningful. I feel like I can breath easier!!!!
Here's an update on my website as well!
http://hoomaliehealing.wix.com/healing
Love you all!
And please pray for those serving overseas. Thank you!!!!
Here's an update on my website as well!
http://hoomaliehealing.wix.com/healing
Love you all!
And please pray for those serving overseas. Thank you!!!!
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Happy 2016!!!
Hello my darling friends and family,
I want to catch up and tell you my wonderful journeying's throughout this past holiday season, but first, a quote:
"When you face pain directly she will give you an ointment so the wounds don't fester." - Ruth Gendler
For those whom this makes sense - wonderful, for those whom it does not - wonderful!
Love and light
I want to catch up and tell you my wonderful journeying's throughout this past holiday season, but first, a quote:
"When you face pain directly she will give you an ointment so the wounds don't fester." - Ruth Gendler
For those whom this makes sense - wonderful, for those whom it does not - wonderful!
Love and light
Saturday, November 21, 2015
A Long Few Weeks
Since my surgery in February, I thought I'd have a lot of down time to rest and catch up on some projects that has been in the works for quite some time.
Surgery itself was quite the adventure. I had a friend scheduled to take me to and from the hospital, however, she ended up getting really sick. So, I had to scramble 1 1/2 days prior to surgery to find a replacement. I was so grateful that I found two people to help me at the last minute. Sadly, neither of them really care for each other, but that's okay - it wasn't about making friends; I needed help.
It took a long while for me to come off of the anesthesia. Schedule for surgery at 1330, came out whenever.... but didn't leave the hospital until after 2130. I was nauseous, light headed, and kept having the bobble head affect, and I couldn't fully feel my legs underneath me. They felt really heavy.
Anyway, a friend of mine insisted I stay at her house that night. I'm glad I did. She took me home the next day - and that's when a large part of the adventure really began.
Over the next week or so, I was playing the adjusting medication game. And attempting to cook for myself was just as hilarious. You see, I practiced doing a lot of my daily things using my left arm and hand and I became a pro. HOWEVER, I didn't take into account opening a can of food, washing dishes, or putting on a seat belt would be such a pain in the behind. LOL
One reaction I had to my medicine is that I was so constipated that I was in so much pain! One night I couldn't sleep and was so uncomfortable that I was praying to die! Seriously!
Okay, well, I believe I'm done typing for now. (I started this months ago, and just finishing it today. LOL!!!)
One love
Surgery itself was quite the adventure. I had a friend scheduled to take me to and from the hospital, however, she ended up getting really sick. So, I had to scramble 1 1/2 days prior to surgery to find a replacement. I was so grateful that I found two people to help me at the last minute. Sadly, neither of them really care for each other, but that's okay - it wasn't about making friends; I needed help.
It took a long while for me to come off of the anesthesia. Schedule for surgery at 1330, came out whenever.... but didn't leave the hospital until after 2130. I was nauseous, light headed, and kept having the bobble head affect, and I couldn't fully feel my legs underneath me. They felt really heavy.
Anyway, a friend of mine insisted I stay at her house that night. I'm glad I did. She took me home the next day - and that's when a large part of the adventure really began.
Over the next week or so, I was playing the adjusting medication game. And attempting to cook for myself was just as hilarious. You see, I practiced doing a lot of my daily things using my left arm and hand and I became a pro. HOWEVER, I didn't take into account opening a can of food, washing dishes, or putting on a seat belt would be such a pain in the behind. LOL
One reaction I had to my medicine is that I was so constipated that I was in so much pain! One night I couldn't sleep and was so uncomfortable that I was praying to die! Seriously!
Okay, well, I believe I'm done typing for now. (I started this months ago, and just finishing it today. LOL!!!)
One love
Hello ... Still in Idaho...
A friend pointed out that it's been way too long since I've written anything on here. Sad, but true.
My surgery went well. Still feeling affects from it even this late in the year. They say that it will take up to a year to get back to where I was. Not sure if that's really true, but we'll see.
Life has been quite unique since then. Definitely turned up side down. However, I am thankful for my lessons in life as it has allowed me to grow more than expected.
I'd say that nothing new has been happening, however, that would be a lie. A lot has changed and yet, I may choose not to share it on here. LOL! (Go figure, the girl who loves to write things down, doesn't feel like putting it on here. sheesh.)
In bullet form, because I do that, here's what's been going on with me in a nutshell:
- Had shoulder surgery
- Had physical therapy: Doctor had me at therapy 2 days after surgery. So weird (Yes, it sucked, but I'm thankful I went. My physical therapy crew was/is amazing!)
- Still attended drill during my healing time (That unique.)
- Gained about 33 pounds since my injury and on a NO WORK OUT profile. (It's been a pain in the behind to drop the weight, but I'm working on it! I'm down 7 pounds.)
- Spent about 2 weeks in the hospital day and night helping a friend whose husband had a heart attack and then heart surgery. I was still in my sling (for my arm) and when I had to pull him up on the bed with the bed sheet, I used my left hand and my teeth to help. I don't know how I did it to help, but it worked and SOLE is doing so much better.
- Stayed with that family for 2 additional weeks helping them with SOLE man. I can't believe how many jokes I had and that I was able to make them laugh as much as we did. "Sole in a half-shell", "Sir Cough-a-lava". Not only was this a sensitive time for this family, there were also some visitors from the other side that came to visit. "Universal tone". "Oracle".
- Went to Washington for the Faery and Human Relations Congress with a dear friend Shannon. (She is one of the most lovely people I have EVER met. Faery Congress was fantastic. Learned a lot about myself.)
- Moved out of Lewisville
- Helped to paint 2 new murals for my unit... (Okay, let's be honest - I did most of it. LMBO) Hopefully I'll be able to a picture up here soon. It was a lot of work, but fun.
- Went to California for Temana's 1st Birthday. He is such a cute little man.
- Met Triana, Enoka's fiancé. She is a hoot! I love her.
- Went to hug the Redwoods and Sequoia with Enoka and Triana. That was fun and a VEEERRRRYYYY long day! Worth it though.
- I was a Gypsy for Halloween (Samhain). It was fantastic.
I've also been doing a lot of healing. Had a lot of things from childhood and also from overseas that have been coming up for me. The detoxing of it has been quite the journey. I've been clearing out of my gallbladder and liver. Oh the emotions!
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the nutshell.
Happy early Thanksgiving!
My surgery went well. Still feeling affects from it even this late in the year. They say that it will take up to a year to get back to where I was. Not sure if that's really true, but we'll see.
Life has been quite unique since then. Definitely turned up side down. However, I am thankful for my lessons in life as it has allowed me to grow more than expected.
I'd say that nothing new has been happening, however, that would be a lie. A lot has changed and yet, I may choose not to share it on here. LOL! (Go figure, the girl who loves to write things down, doesn't feel like putting it on here. sheesh.)
In bullet form, because I do that, here's what's been going on with me in a nutshell:
- Had shoulder surgery
- Had physical therapy: Doctor had me at therapy 2 days after surgery. So weird (Yes, it sucked, but I'm thankful I went. My physical therapy crew was/is amazing!)
- Still attended drill during my healing time (That unique.)
- Gained about 33 pounds since my injury and on a NO WORK OUT profile. (It's been a pain in the behind to drop the weight, but I'm working on it! I'm down 7 pounds.)
- Spent about 2 weeks in the hospital day and night helping a friend whose husband had a heart attack and then heart surgery. I was still in my sling (for my arm) and when I had to pull him up on the bed with the bed sheet, I used my left hand and my teeth to help. I don't know how I did it to help, but it worked and SOLE is doing so much better.
- Stayed with that family for 2 additional weeks helping them with SOLE man. I can't believe how many jokes I had and that I was able to make them laugh as much as we did. "Sole in a half-shell", "Sir Cough-a-lava". Not only was this a sensitive time for this family, there were also some visitors from the other side that came to visit. "Universal tone". "Oracle".
- Went to Washington for the Faery and Human Relations Congress with a dear friend Shannon. (She is one of the most lovely people I have EVER met. Faery Congress was fantastic. Learned a lot about myself.)
- Moved out of Lewisville
- Helped to paint 2 new murals for my unit... (Okay, let's be honest - I did most of it. LMBO) Hopefully I'll be able to a picture up here soon. It was a lot of work, but fun.
- Went to California for Temana's 1st Birthday. He is such a cute little man.
- Met Triana, Enoka's fiancé. She is a hoot! I love her.
- Went to hug the Redwoods and Sequoia with Enoka and Triana. That was fun and a VEEERRRRYYYY long day! Worth it though.
- I was a Gypsy for Halloween (Samhain). It was fantastic.
I've also been doing a lot of healing. Had a lot of things from childhood and also from overseas that have been coming up for me. The detoxing of it has been quite the journey. I've been clearing out of my gallbladder and liver. Oh the emotions!
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the nutshell.
Happy early Thanksgiving!
Saturday, January 31, 2015
NCOER and a Scope....
Lots has happened since I last put any words or thoughts on here. I think a few of the highlights were:
- Visited my family in California. My family from Hawai'i came in and I got to surprise Keoki and his family. The children are so big and definitely finding their voice and expressing their likes and dislikes. Kind of weird. Lol!!!!
- I got super sick - vomiting, nausea, headaches, fatigue..... that lasted for a few weeks.
- I took a course in Phlebotomy which was really cool. I sit for my nationals next month. (I did it as an additional tool in the event that I can't do my job as a massage therapist any more. It was HIGHLY recommended that I get a different civilian set of skills just in case massage therapy is no longer in my cards to do. Sucks)
- I've been under a lot of pressure with INCAP (which was pulled on the 13th because my doctor said I can return to duty.... He didn't specify if it was civilian or military)
- My mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last week when she went in for a check up. She did her first round of radiation last Saturday and was in isolation for 6 days. (Thank you everyone for your good thoughts, positive vibes, unconditional love, and prayers.)
- Went to see the doctor yesterday. Got a shot in my right shoulder joint to rule out the acromium-clavicular joint as an issue. Doc has better diagnosed me with biceps tendinitis and SLAP (superior labral anterior to posterior) tear. Meaning the top portion of the tissue that supports the joint in the arm ball socket - has a tear.
- This Tuesday I go to Pocatello to help the BN historian with photography stuff from deployment, fires, and annual training. It's a good thing that I have over 20 THOUSAND photos since 2010. Sad thing is, I have 20 THOUSAND photos to go through and do write ups for at least 475 of those. I think I have some write ups from deployment, so that'll lessen my writing to only about 400 write ups to do. Holy cheese and crackers! That's a lot I didn't realize! Why!!!!!!!!! Lol
- Also, my first line leader (military), FINALLY decided to do my NCOER (Non-Commissioned Officer Evaluation Report). Funny thing is - he expects me to jump through hoops to get things done that he's been dragging his feet on when I've been asking since last MAY to get my initial rating and NCOER started. What a duche bead! For those of you reading this that I deployed with.... my first line leader is L. Hansen (not eagle eye). Ugh!
Anyway, that's just a bit of what's going on with me. I'm hoping all is going well with everyone else. I'm sure I'll make some smarty pants comments on here about surgery and the recovery process.
One Love to all! Happy happy!
- Visited my family in California. My family from Hawai'i came in and I got to surprise Keoki and his family. The children are so big and definitely finding their voice and expressing their likes and dislikes. Kind of weird. Lol!!!!
- I got super sick - vomiting, nausea, headaches, fatigue..... that lasted for a few weeks.
- I took a course in Phlebotomy which was really cool. I sit for my nationals next month. (I did it as an additional tool in the event that I can't do my job as a massage therapist any more. It was HIGHLY recommended that I get a different civilian set of skills just in case massage therapy is no longer in my cards to do. Sucks)
- I've been under a lot of pressure with INCAP (which was pulled on the 13th because my doctor said I can return to duty.... He didn't specify if it was civilian or military)
- My mom was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last week when she went in for a check up. She did her first round of radiation last Saturday and was in isolation for 6 days. (Thank you everyone for your good thoughts, positive vibes, unconditional love, and prayers.)
- Went to see the doctor yesterday. Got a shot in my right shoulder joint to rule out the acromium-clavicular joint as an issue. Doc has better diagnosed me with biceps tendinitis and SLAP (superior labral anterior to posterior) tear. Meaning the top portion of the tissue that supports the joint in the arm ball socket - has a tear.
- This Tuesday I go to Pocatello to help the BN historian with photography stuff from deployment, fires, and annual training. It's a good thing that I have over 20 THOUSAND photos since 2010. Sad thing is, I have 20 THOUSAND photos to go through and do write ups for at least 475 of those. I think I have some write ups from deployment, so that'll lessen my writing to only about 400 write ups to do. Holy cheese and crackers! That's a lot I didn't realize! Why!!!!!!!!! Lol
- Also, my first line leader (military), FINALLY decided to do my NCOER (Non-Commissioned Officer Evaluation Report). Funny thing is - he expects me to jump through hoops to get things done that he's been dragging his feet on when I've been asking since last MAY to get my initial rating and NCOER started. What a duche bead! For those of you reading this that I deployed with.... my first line leader is L. Hansen (not eagle eye). Ugh!
Anyway, that's just a bit of what's going on with me. I'm hoping all is going well with everyone else. I'm sure I'll make some smarty pants comments on here about surgery and the recovery process.
One Love to all! Happy happy!
Thursday, January 15, 2015
In Goes the Good Air, Out Goes the bad....
This morning I got a call telling me my INCAP (military version of workman's comp), was pulled and canceled..... 2 days ago. Long story short - my goals for this year may be altered and pushed back for another year. I, unfortunately, may need to just get some kind of menial job... you know, the kind I'd rather do a million pushes instead of that kind of job. Ugh!
Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating just a little. However, if you were told that you can return to duty or work, but not able to do your civilian job - how would you feel? I have a few people telling me that I can do this job or that job. I'm appreciative of it, however I don't want to just get a job just to get a job. I want something, even if it's temporary, that I can like myself for. Is that too much to ask? LOL
Anyway, I've been looking into schools etc, and a lot of them won't really work for me because of my upcoming military training schedule. We'll see how things turn out.
Okay - I've vented, cried, blogged, a division breathed. I know it'll be fine and get better. It's just a little discouraging sometimes.
Oh, and a random note- if you haven't heard Shotgun Rider by Tim McGraw, you're missing out. It's a cute song.
One love♡
Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating just a little. However, if you were told that you can return to duty or work, but not able to do your civilian job - how would you feel? I have a few people telling me that I can do this job or that job. I'm appreciative of it, however I don't want to just get a job just to get a job. I want something, even if it's temporary, that I can like myself for. Is that too much to ask? LOL
Anyway, I've been looking into schools etc, and a lot of them won't really work for me because of my upcoming military training schedule. We'll see how things turn out.
Okay - I've vented, cried, blogged, a division breathed. I know it'll be fine and get better. It's just a little discouraging sometimes.
Oh, and a random note- if you haven't heard Shotgun Rider by Tim McGraw, you're missing out. It's a cute song.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Idaho, Oh Idaho, Wherefore art Thou Idaho...
Don't get me wrong - I love my family. (How about that for a preface!)
However, it's really unique that I've noticed that the longer I was in California with my family, the more I realize that I have changed quite a bit from when I lived there over 10 years ago. Even though I have no immediate family near me, and I miss them a lot (especially when special occasions come along, or when I want to crawl in bed with my mom or sister-in-law and have some girl talk), I love being out here... in a different kind of beautiful - the country. Now, don't get me wrong, I can live easily anywhere in the world, but for some reason - I just prefer the peace and quiet.
I've been thinking these past few days how much I've noticed I've changed. The things that are important to me now versus being 23, the kinds of music, how I wear my hear, the kinds of clothes I wear, the jewelry I pick out. Some times I think I've lost my flare for really living, and I ask myself - what happened? Where's that girl who had such a love for life, who ventured off to far places JUST BECAUSE... I guess it's just part of growing up.
Since being back in Idaho, I've found that this time being back here is a little more depressing for me. It just contains some kind of forlorn loneliness that's haunting. Not that I want sympathy or someone to rescue me, these are just some thoughts I've had - that's all. I guess there comes a point when everyone gets tired of being alone. I'm definitely past that point.
Anyway - on to happier notes. I have drill this weekend and since I live more than 50 miles from where I am training, I get to have a hotel room for the three nights I'll be here. OH - and apparently I am the only female that is coming to this particular drill and so no one else will be with me! A hotel room! To myself! VACATION!!!!! Plus - it has a 24 hour indoor pool. I'm thinking of getting up early in the morning and going for a nice soak before drill to wake me up. We'll see.
If anyone is interested, there's a song by Tim McGraw that's been on my mental playlist in my head: Shotgun Rider
LOL!
Hope y'all like it!
One love~
However, it's really unique that I've noticed that the longer I was in California with my family, the more I realize that I have changed quite a bit from when I lived there over 10 years ago. Even though I have no immediate family near me, and I miss them a lot (especially when special occasions come along, or when I want to crawl in bed with my mom or sister-in-law and have some girl talk), I love being out here... in a different kind of beautiful - the country. Now, don't get me wrong, I can live easily anywhere in the world, but for some reason - I just prefer the peace and quiet.
I've been thinking these past few days how much I've noticed I've changed. The things that are important to me now versus being 23, the kinds of music, how I wear my hear, the kinds of clothes I wear, the jewelry I pick out. Some times I think I've lost my flare for really living, and I ask myself - what happened? Where's that girl who had such a love for life, who ventured off to far places JUST BECAUSE... I guess it's just part of growing up.
Since being back in Idaho, I've found that this time being back here is a little more depressing for me. It just contains some kind of forlorn loneliness that's haunting. Not that I want sympathy or someone to rescue me, these are just some thoughts I've had - that's all. I guess there comes a point when everyone gets tired of being alone. I'm definitely past that point.
Anyway - on to happier notes. I have drill this weekend and since I live more than 50 miles from where I am training, I get to have a hotel room for the three nights I'll be here. OH - and apparently I am the only female that is coming to this particular drill and so no one else will be with me! A hotel room! To myself! VACATION!!!!! Plus - it has a 24 hour indoor pool. I'm thinking of getting up early in the morning and going for a nice soak before drill to wake me up. We'll see.
If anyone is interested, there's a song by Tim McGraw that's been on my mental playlist in my head: Shotgun Rider
LOL!
Hope y'all like it!
One love~
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Family & Christmas
This year I've had the amazing opportunity to spend Christmas with my family in California. My second brother and his family arrived and so Christmas was had by two of my three brothers and their families and their in-laws, my parents and me. It really has been a great trip. Well worth it.
Of course I'll share some photos on there sooner or later. I don't have the opportunity to put pictures on my computer right now. However, one of the things I have been blessed to witness this holiday season, are the children. My nieces and nephews and just how grown they've become in their own individuality and as cousins bonding.
You know, there are definitely times this past week that I've been a little sad. Those nieces and nephews I've held and seen grow from infants to tweens, to teens, to young adults is at times overwhelming. There are moments when I think that IF I ever have the chance to have children, that they will be the only cousins their own ages, because everyone else will be so much older than them. It's strange to think that my oldest nephews are old enough to start having families of their own. Oh my goodness!
Anyway - enough of the sad talk of growing babies.
I hope all of you who are still reading this blog have had a wonderful Christmas this 2014! I'll share pictures later of the children putting on the Nativity (with the stylish throw-together costumes done by none-other than yours truly!), white elephant pictures of my nieces sulking from getting crummy gifts, to my cute little nephew who is having the telepathic conversations with me! I love looking at the pictures that he's showing of his adventures and his little complaints about his day! Oh the joy it's been!!!
I am truly best!
Have a safe and wonderful Christmas to one and all!
Much love and light, P~
Of course I'll share some photos on there sooner or later. I don't have the opportunity to put pictures on my computer right now. However, one of the things I have been blessed to witness this holiday season, are the children. My nieces and nephews and just how grown they've become in their own individuality and as cousins bonding.
You know, there are definitely times this past week that I've been a little sad. Those nieces and nephews I've held and seen grow from infants to tweens, to teens, to young adults is at times overwhelming. There are moments when I think that IF I ever have the chance to have children, that they will be the only cousins their own ages, because everyone else will be so much older than them. It's strange to think that my oldest nephews are old enough to start having families of their own. Oh my goodness!
Anyway - enough of the sad talk of growing babies.
I hope all of you who are still reading this blog have had a wonderful Christmas this 2014! I'll share pictures later of the children putting on the Nativity (with the stylish throw-together costumes done by none-other than yours truly!), white elephant pictures of my nieces sulking from getting crummy gifts, to my cute little nephew who is having the telepathic conversations with me! I love looking at the pictures that he's showing of his adventures and his little complaints about his day! Oh the joy it's been!!!
I am truly best!
Have a safe and wonderful Christmas to one and all!
Much love and light, P~
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