Don't get me wrong - I love my family. (How about that for a preface!)
However, it's really unique that I've noticed that the longer I was in California with my family, the more I realize that I have changed quite a bit from when I lived there over 10 years ago. Even though I have no immediate family near me, and I miss them a lot (especially when special occasions come along, or when I want to crawl in bed with my mom or sister-in-law and have some girl talk), I love being out here... in a different kind of beautiful - the country. Now, don't get me wrong, I can live easily anywhere in the world, but for some reason - I just prefer the peace and quiet.
I've been thinking these past few days how much I've noticed I've changed. The things that are important to me now versus being 23, the kinds of music, how I wear my hear, the kinds of clothes I wear, the jewelry I pick out. Some times I think I've lost my flare for really living, and I ask myself - what happened? Where's that girl who had such a love for life, who ventured off to far places JUST BECAUSE... I guess it's just part of growing up.
Since being back in Idaho, I've found that this time being back here is a little more depressing for me. It just contains some kind of forlorn loneliness that's haunting. Not that I want sympathy or someone to rescue me, these are just some thoughts I've had - that's all. I guess there comes a point when everyone gets tired of being alone. I'm definitely past that point.
Anyway - on to happier notes. I have drill this weekend and since I live more than 50 miles from where I am training, I get to have a hotel room for the three nights I'll be here. OH - and apparently I am the only female that is coming to this particular drill and so no one else will be with me! A hotel room! To myself! VACATION!!!!! Plus - it has a 24 hour indoor pool. I'm thinking of getting up early in the morning and going for a nice soak before drill to wake me up. We'll see.
If anyone is interested, there's a song by Tim McGraw that's been on my mental playlist in my head: Shotgun Rider
LOL!
Hope y'all like it!
One love~
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