Today I went to the Orthopaedics to FINALLY have my right shoulder checked by the doctor.... I know... surprise, surprise. It was a little weird to go there. I started having anxiety, my hands were shaking, I couldn't put some things together while looking at my intake forms, and it took me just about 30 minutes to get it done. (It was only 5 pages. lol)
Long story short, I had to do some muscle testing on myself to find out why I was feeling uneasy. Well, it's because I believed that "ALL DOCTORS were evil", and that this "doctor will treat me like the last doctor" I saw in Boise. I had to release that and download myself with the belief that "all doctors are NOT evil, and that I could have the discernment on who I should be seen by." When the shift and change was happening in my body, I started to feel peaceful. I was letting go of the resentment I had from the previous doctor, and opening my heart that this new doctor might be able to help me. It was fantastic.
So, what did we find? Well, we were able to take an x-ray and find that there might be a separation of the acromion and clavicle tendon. However, we won't know for a little while. But, I do have biceps tendonitis/INFLAM, and get to start my physical therapy next week Tuesday.
I had to really think why it took me so long to get into the doctors.... and, here is what it came down to:
1. Fear of not finding anything wrong and proving the other doctor right when he said I had/have an "Altered mental status" - basically, "Crazy".
2. Fear of having to pay for all of the medical bills out of pocket.
3. And, I think part of it was a fear of getting better.... then that would mean that I am wrong with knowing how I feel/felt.
Man alive - I really had to release those beliefs, because they were not serving me in my Highest and Best.
Do you believe that we can be held back from achieving things like... GREATNESS, because we have beliefs that tell us or teach us otherwise? Who the crap needs those kinds of thoughts or beliefs to run their lives like that? It's so debilitating.
I am so thankful that I have been blessed with tools for life that I have been taught. It has breathed fresh air for me where I've felt so stuck and stagnant in old beliefs, habits, mind process that isn't always good.
Anyway, my darling friends and family, I love you all.
Much love~
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