"Beautiful"

Not exactly sure how much of myself I should be pouring into this blog, however, since I've been doing it for the past few years, I guess now would be a little too late to start thinking about that, huh?!? However, since we are in the age of technology, I guess I can use this to my advantage to have others get to know me. Not just the me that I portray on the outside, but the matters of the heart and mind.

I was once sitting in an ROTC class, and one of my instructors taught on time management, and what we do with our time... long story short- if we write in a journal, or write our thoughts down two things happen. 1. We can better manage and organize what's on our mind, and 2. We can see what is really important in our lives. Yes friends, what we write about is usually what is important to us. If not, then we wouldn't write about it.

I guess you all should be grateful that you get a bit of insight into my brain, heart, and life. (A bit scary to be so vulnerable, but, I think more scary that you'll actually read this! Ha!)

So here you go!

I'm sitting in the SLC airport, and randomly chose a song from my newly purchased and downloaded album of India.Aire, and the song "Beautiful" is perfect in every way.

The first little part of the song has a very simple and moving guitar intro. Then, the words piped in:

"The time is right, I'm gonna pack my bags

And take that journey down the road

Cause over the mountain I see the bright sunshine

And I want to live inside the glow"

How expressive it is of how I feel, especially since I booked last minute flights to see my family in California and then in Hawai'i. (And, especially embarking on my new upcoming military journey/adventure.)

But, when the lyrics about "...over the mountain I see the bright sunshine..." The sun just started to crest over the mountains on my left. Creeping, rising slowly- inviting everyone to greet the dawn, the magic, and the possibilities of a new day. A testament of God's love stating that all your cares and woes from the previous night's sunset can be washed away- a new slate to make your own new mistakes, hiccups, adventures, and to fall in love with the wishes, hopes, and dreams that God has for you/me/us to discover- today.

Yes, friends and family, if the soul is overtaken by the darkness and the long drawn out chill of the night- sometimes, you just have to wait it out, get through it, embrace it- for on the morrow, the sun certainly rises again. Ever ready to help you greet the new day. I'm sure if the Sun had a chance, it would pray that we would just hold on/hang in there until the morrow- so it can come "over the mountain so we can see the bright sunshine".

So breathe in, embrace the day, and know that the sun will always rise again. So Beautiful.

New Blog Title

Yes friends and family, the new title of my blog will be "Finding Hope"... well, the new title at least for the next year. It definitely holds a double meaning... if anyone can figure it out. ;)

Just finished AT a few days ago, and what an adventure that was. So many ups and downs with life, and learning about my strengths and weaknesses both inside and outside of the Army. At times I think the phrase "growing pains" is not used as often as it should. No matter what age in life you are, "growing pains" is exactly that... "pains". Never-the-less, with life, we learn things, and we grow, and we become a beautiful phoenix rising up from the ash filled earth to fly and soar through the breathtaking skies.

I've realized, in the Army, that sometimes I can get lost in all the hooah-hooah day-to-day things, that I forget about what's really important to me, and what my focus should be. Soooooooooooo, this coming year, deployment year, it's going to be spent rediscovering me. All the goods, bads, rights, and wrongs. I'm excited and nervous, at the same time, for this "re"self-discovery process. It should definitely give me the ride of my life!

And for all who still read this, I am contemplating closing my Facebook account for the deployment year. For sure, my phone will be shut off beginning December. (Won't be using it overseas.) I'm just taking personal security precautions, since I'll be in semi-safe/unsafe territory.

So, having said that, I'll blog as much as I can while in Mississippi, and then overseas. One love to all, and God bless. Make good choices~

Future Adventures

Don't know if anyone is reading this... but if you still are - thanks for following still.

Just a little update on my life:

... I've been working at the Rexburg Armory for the past three weeks. It first started off with getting a bunch of online training done, before deployment. Now, it's turned into office work. Of which, I don't mind at all. :)

... I'm currently in Boise, with the Advanced Party for "AT" (annual training), and am having the opportunity to just chill and relax a bit. We moved all of our vehicles from MATES out to the FOB "Lowe - almost all day. No lunch. Felt a little weak from no food, but dinner was DIVINE! Had Subway for supper, then went to Albertsons and got some food to last these next couple of days. Sad thing is... I've been munching on it almost all night.

... Let's face it packing for deployment, for a whole year, sucks - not fun. If you had half a duffel bag and a small footlocker to pack anything fun, or "extra", with you overseas... what would you take? Since this is my first deployment, I'm a little egg-brained with what I should and should not bring. Thank goodness for friends though. Some friends have been kind enough to let me in on some good tips, and ideas.

... Letting go of love. Man alive - what do I blog about that. Lol!!! I've learned that opening the heart is a beautiful risk that can sometimes be painful. But a lovely pain worth going through. I've been lucky enough to fall in love twice in my life. So lucky indeed. I fear - this one will be harder to let go. And that's okay. I am definitely a better person because of him.

... Overseas - don't know an address yet, however, I'll post it on here once I know what it is.

Okay folks, it's late, and I have an early morning. One love~

Welcome Home & See ya Later!!!

Well, I got back to Idaho late Saturday night. It's been an adventurous ride.

I'm going to keep this brief:

Got back from BCT & AIT - and....

I'm shipping back out.

I get to deploy with my unit in September, and will be overseas for a year.

I love you all heaps, and hope you all the best. Hopefully I'll be able to write more while overseas.

Until then- Much love, Pili girl~

The Adventures Continue...

Well friends and family, I am here, in humid Missouri. BCT was definitely a difficult one. Not so much the training, but the people. It's amazing how the people can either make or break the experience that you're having.

The physicality of it all wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. Granted, there were about 2 ruck marches that I felt definitely inadequate, but I trudged through all of them, and never left a soldier behind.

AIT is another story. We have a lot of down time here, and I almost don't know what to do with myself. It's unfortunate that we have to do deep cleaning on Sundays, making church attendance difficult. Not to mention, especially when church is from 10 - 1pm, and then trying to find someone to go with you, when you're the only member in the entire company! Blah. Oh well.

This weekend I've been pretty sick. Right now I am medicated, :) , and was able to make it to the USO. (Trying to find out information on registering for this coming semester.) But, still, would rather have been at church.

More than anything, I just wanted to wish all of my father friends, and father figures a very Happy Father's Day. I hope this is the best Father's Day ever. You all deserve it, and wish I could be there to spend it with you. (Well, some of you anyway... like- my brothers and dad.) ha ha ha ha

One love, p~

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

Before you know it, it'll be April Fool's Day, then Memorial Day, Mother's/Father's Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and finally Christmas! Can you believe that it's already the 17th of March?!? The time certainly flies by!!!

Also, yesterday, I went to my unit to discuss when I'd be leaving for BCT. Since I've had two deaths in the family of blood relatives, they were concerned that I wouldn't be ready to ship. Honestly, I didn't want to ship so soon, but left it up to my body fat taping. I was 2% under my allotted body fat. Meaning... I am off to Ft. Sill, OK on Monday morning!!!!

I fly out to Oakland, CA on Friday, back to Idaho on Sunday morning (around 1 am), then work on Monday, and then... gone until August!

AAAAHHHHHH! I'm so excited, and yet... soooo nervous!

I am definitely going to miss people. Especially... well... yes. I will miss you too my friend. (Not that you'd ever read this.) ;)

Peace people!

The Passing of a Loved One

Some of you may know, and some of you may not know.

My favorite uncle, Uncle Randall Kau'i Alesna, passed away quickly on Friday, 12 March 2010 at 12:36 P.M.

Funeral is in Hayward, California - This Saturday.

I don't know how much more our hearts can take. This hurts, and it sucks - but then again, that's life I guess.

The ARRNG Countdown

The joy of trying to get everything done before shipping out…

Some of you may know that I enlisted in the Army National Guard.

My ship date is Monday, 22 March 2010. I will conduct my basic training in Oklahoma, and will then complete my follow up advanced training in Missouri.

To be honest, I’m starting to get a bit nervous about going. I’ve had a foot injury for over a month and have not been able to do my PT (cardio stuff) since then. This sucks – seriously. But, these last two weeks, I am spending as much free time as I can working my butt off. Whether it’s in the pool, on the treadmill, elliptical, spinning bike, pounding pavement, or the sauna…. I’m there!

Life is getting a bit crazier, with barely time to breathe and relax, but I think I’m hanging there.
Any words of encouragement from people in the military are welcome. (Even if you’re not in the military and have any advice etc., feel free to send it over.)

Oh, and if I don’t write again before I leave, I’ll see you all in August.

Emotions...

Obviously I've not blogged in a while.

A short wrap up on the past month or so:

- grandpa passed away
- aunts and uncles are fighting about the funeral and materialistic things
- friends are moving away
- funeral this weekend for grandpa
- heart was ripped out of my chest today
- injured toe (still)
- co-worker is getting married (yay!)
- trying to get life in order at work for when I leave
- getting military things in order (fast ship)
- trying to keep focused and motivated
- ROTC lab at Camp Williams on March 19 -20, 21- drill, 22-leave for MEPS, 23- leave for reception, 24- start reception (BCT)
- needing to get all of my homework done in two weeks
- sometimes, just need a friend
- trying to keep my head on straight
- uncle has little time left to live
- decision to know/not know if uncle passes away while I'm at BCT

I'm sure none of this makes sense. But, if you can figure it out- that's what's going on in my life.

One Love~

Little Goodbyes

On Monday, I caught a last minute flight back to Rexburg. (I was getting antsy and decided it was time to come back home.)


Wednesday morning, I get a call from my mom... My grandfather finally passed away.


I had to call my brother, Enoka, because my mom couldn't get a hold of him. Later that day he told me that my three older niece and nephews were taking the news well, except the last nephew. Fatso was having a hard time with Papa's death.


Needless-to-say, I've been okay, except when I've been talking to family members. It's soooo hard to talk to them- to hear them cry. I do, however, tend to save my tears until I'm off the phone.


I've designated this weekend as the time when I'll mourn, but I've been finding it a bit harder than I thought.


I keep telling myself that I'm okay and that I'll have my time to cry later. But who am I kidding? When someone is mourning, the best time to mourn is when you're feeling it. Suppressing the feelings only drags out the hurt and the pain more. Sometimes, we lash out at the people who are only trying to help us, and that's not healthy either.

To cry or not to cry... that is the question.