Obviously, I can't sleep.
Honestly, I haven't even started packing my gear.
Not quite sure what it is that makes me think - "No worries. I got this." However, that's where my brain is at currently. I'm pretty sure, at this point, I should be stressing out about not having my things done. But, instead, I am here... blogging my little brain away while multi-tasking the following:
-compressing the movies I've purchased online
-laundry
-transferring music from my cds to my iTunes
-occasionally transferring gear from downstairs to the living room
-organizing my electronics
-fighting the head nodding monster (I'm awake, I'm falling asleep, I'm awake, I'm falling asleep)
-eating a late night snack and
-packing my boxes that I am having sent to myself overseas (I know... I'm weird)
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These past few days I've had the opportunity to meet with some friends to say goodbye. And although it was soooo very nice to be with them again, it was also a little sad. Unfortunately, I haven't done my usual rounds of seeing EVERYONE and giving them all goodbye hugs. It's been a little difficult.
You see, I've learned, recently, that I really don't like saying "goodbye" to people. It seems I have a downfall- being social and knowing a lot of people.... waaaaay too many people to say "so long" to. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but the finality of it all is what tends to get me these days. Sometimes saying goodbye just... well, it sucks.
I've reflected back to my high school days of when I went to attend Kamehameha Schools, a private boarding school on O'ahu, and how it felt when I left my beautiful Kaua'i. Every time I returned home and visited with friends, it was if they moved on without me in their lives. (As it should be, because obviously, I wasn't there.) Or when my family had to leave because my dad was being stationed in a new area. It seems that I've grown up doing the leaving. And although it seems that my life has been based on this pattern of voyaging out on new adventures and after a period of time, I "leave"- I'm hoping this time will be a little different.
If I physically did not say goodbye to you or embrace you with a warm hug- please accept my apologies. It's not that I'm "trying" to be rude on purpose, I just needed to focus on what was ahead and not who or what I am leaving behind. Trust me, I would have loved to have thrown a huge party and have everyone there, but I didn't.
SO, if you are reading this, PLEASE know that I love you all very much. I truly do. I am thankful for the time I've had you in my life. I look forward to returning and hearing about all of your fun and exciting adventures too.
Be safe and stay well.
Much love, Pili girl~
1 comment:
I don't like saying good bye either. I prefer to just leave or do it quietly. No one really needs to know the reasons, right? Well, I miss you, been thinking of you and want to know where to write? Let me know. Love you much and be safe FOB!! ofa atu!
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