Reflections of being 16...

Well, this past week has been one of wondering. No "what if" moments or "should/could have" wishing. Just, wondering.

Not to divulge all that is in my heart, but I will put part of my what my heart was feeling at 16 and my thoughts now, down for you all to view and know a little more of the inner workings that I share with caution.

So, let me pose a few questions.

What happens to those we love that sometimes slips away from us? Moments that meant so much in our lives at the time, and then somehow just fades?

This morning, I grabbed an old "thought" book I had, and came across the following passage.

"Dec. 29, 1997
Monday Night

If there was one thing that I would not want to have messed with, it is... my feelings or emotions. I don't want to 'fall-in-love' because I'm afraid of getting my heart broken... I just want to find someone that will love me for me. And for one of my friendships, I totally leave that in the Lord's hands. And whatever comes out of that, then it will be because Heavenly Father wants it that way...I know that in my situation I may be just another numbered friend, but I don't want to be left out, or left alone, because honestly, it hurts."

It's amazing, even at 16, those 10+ years ago, some emotions never get any easier to deal with. I wonder how that person is doing. The one that had my heart those many years ago. I spoke with his mother the other day, she remembered me. A surge of feelings flirt with my heart-strings and the plucking seems to be getting louder.

Please don't ask me questions.

These are just thoughts. Thoughts of the heart. My thoughts.